Everything Is Perfect..

We Indians are the most cultured and happiest beings on the planet. We are among the top countries in the happiness index and is far better than our neighboring countries. When people questions and criticizes our culture or anything related to that, we humbly accept the criticism. We like to hear jokes, we equally enjoy them when they are targeted at us. There is so much love among ourselves that we never make fun of anybody’s dialect, complexion, religion, social status etc. We are free to express our views anywhere and anytime freely and nobody would question it. We respect our elders a lot, nobody teaches us to, it is an inborn trait we all have. There are many things which are simply great about us which but we never discuss as we are very humble.

Politics: Our politics and politicians are great and it is sometimes used as an antonym for corruption. Each and every politician works for the welfare of the people, especially for the poor and nobody is interested in remaining in power. They don’t believe in vote banking, so treats everybody equally. Most of them doesn’t know the word “communalism” and those who knows (few), hates it and is trying hard to remove it from the dictionary. There has been no single case of corruption against the politician and they never loots the hard earned money of the poor. Each and every penny is used for high quality transportation, education quality, controlling inflation etc.

Education: The education system is the best, where kids have never heard of home-works, assignments etc. The day at school starts with an effective assembly program, where a teacher would lecture on discipline and ends with kids feeling secured about their future. The focus of the school is never on kids scoring in the final exam, but on the overall development. Later in their lives, some of them (intelligent ones) became so great that they gave new theories such as birds reproducing from tears and an animal which inhales and exhales oxygen. Nobody is unemployed, the situation is so good, that those who doesn’t want to work are given bribes to work.

Sports: We not only like to watch games and sports on TV, but we beg our kids to play outside, because we know that only studying won’t guarantee success. There are many parents who would allow their children to play even when there is a class test after three and a half months. We appreciate all the sports specially gymnastics, wrestling, hockey, Paralympic games etc. We never criticize if any player couldn’t win any medal and don’t burn effigies like other developing countries.

Bollywood: We Indians watch movies only with good stories and unlike other countries, we do not promote movies with superstars and a big banner without any story. There is no place for just good looking actress, they are offered the role solely on the basis of their acting skills. We believe, the three things which are not required to make a movie successful are, a good looking actress, science defying action and songs about alcohol and big butt. Our censor board would never certify movies having those qualities and movies objectifying women and would easily certify movies showing problem of drugs, involving kissing, regular words etc.

Policies: We can always question the policies of government, although it is never required to question them as they are for the betterment of the people. The government is working for the betterment of animals as well, with laws where people will be fined and get arrested if you cause trouble to any animal or bird or insect. The government promotes vegetarianism everywhere by making it illegal of killing of any living being for food. It doesn’t matter if it is a popular tourist place, killing them is illegal. We are placed lowest among meat exporting countries, because of the strong policies for animal welfare.

After all these points, I might become the most lovable person in India.


Date: 18th July 2017

Place: Parallel Universe.



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